Dearly Departed

I know it may sound crazy because when they go we miss them so much but God rejoices at the victory won when his Angels come home. Like his favorite children God descends his eyes upon us & like a good parent He says “This is gonna hurt me more than it does you.” Although his thoughts are leagues higher above mine I think it is to his delight in their answer to his call & homecoming. The jubilant celebration of happiness is interrupted; dwindled away with a wave of many tears & stratosphere of grief as we cannot comprehend the vastness & depth of his love for us. We want to seize legitimate logic with reason why? We’ve loved, have been loved by them deeply & continue to love them but that’s all longer we mourn. Let thy heart not be distressed. Let thy soul not be torn. For they are all together now shining down from heaven. Throughout the bounds of time & infinite space they travel among us within an alternate dominion.

No longer are they in a realm of pain, anguish or despair that plagues the hearts of human kind. As much as they have been & are loved here on earth it’s easy to perceive why God desired to bring them so close next to him. Many good people have moved on so I’m certain that they are in good company among the other Angels in a place were they are loved, they are free & they are happy. I would suspect that when we are happy they are happy & when we are sad especially when our sadness is occurring from them then they too are sad. Jesus is our ever present help in danger & our solemn comfort in our times of sorrow. He is always near in our lives so I believe that when life renders great chaos & turmoil they too are there watching over us, protecting us or even sent to intervene whenever we’re struggling. Every now & then you can hear them whispering in the wind. They speak to our hearts & minds, conscience & spirit through feelings, dreams & visions by the wisdom & light they instilled the breath of life in us while they were here, reminding us on occasion that they are in fact still with us. It is our duty to keep their memory alive. Let your heart rejoice. For the sake of love life must go on. The many lives we touch are vital to everyone’s spiritual welfare.

It was around this time 2 years ago now that my Grandmother was called home. Pain perhaps has blotted out the exact date but I was already going through some disheartening division & crisis. I still can remember the details as to being at work & getting a phone call from my Dad to tell me she was gone. I was in a state of shock & disbelief. My mind would not accept the fact that she would no longer be around. I couldn’t listen to her voice anymore, I couldn’t see her any longer, there were no more opportunities to tell her or show her how much I loved her. Although my grief was immense it was unparalleled in contrast to the profound misery of my Mother & her 2 sisters. As my spirit was soberly downcast inside & within the bleak silence my Grandmother gently asked me to stand up, be there for a family that needed me & speak to them in the spirit of love & truth on her behalf. It was something I knew I was uncomfortable doing because of what it would require. Little did I know that I would later acquire the ever increasing strength, courage, endurance & love by the grace of our Father to help others.

It wasn’t until the morning of February 12th, 2011 that my life began to redefine itself. It felt like a dreadful day. We dressed in our best attire, gathered to proceed to the church. Before we we’re able to pull off there was an accident. My Aunt, who is my Grandmothers oldest & last surviving sibling, was involved in a collision. Among many other unfortunate things transpired my Aunt had to be rushed by ambulance to the emergency room & would not be able to be present at the service. We could not bear another tragedy & in that moment I think everyone in the family prayed that everything would be ok. My Uncle, who was always there with my Grandmother, accompanied my Aunt to the hospital & the rest of my family headed on out to the church. It seemed like the closer we got the more the tension & anxiety built up inside me, knowing what I was about to attempt. I recall my Father & my brother giving me some last minute encouragement & advice as to what I should say. I began again to pray & I realized that everything they were telling me was already written.

The Lord had already completed his work in me before I had taken the 1st step to the alter. I was nervous as the program was getting close to that moment for me to say my piece. My flesh was weak but when they called my name it was a compelling confidence of the spirit that took over. I stepped up to the podium & began to deliver a message to a church filled with family, friends & various other members who were weeping & overwhelmed with heavy hearts. When I had read aloud about the second or third sentence I lost my place & for a second my heart sank to the pit of my stomach. I then gathered myself in hopes that God would allow His work to be finished through me, that my words might touch those listening alleviating some of the tremendous pain & bring peace. I don’t know how I managed to make it all the way through other than the power in Christ Jesus. Immediately after I spoke could feel the energy leave my body as I suddenly began to uncontrollably shed tears from behind the dark shades on my face knowing that it would be the last time I would ever have an opportunity just to be in the same vicinity as my Grandmother. I ran to her now closed casket & hugged it like a child.

I was born a leader many years ago, then baptized a couple of years back & this day at this time I think was the when the leader in me emerged & was reveal to Gods people. I was lifted up by the Scott brothers who like Angels gave me strength to help me to stand firm & upright. In somewhat a distraught state with blurry vision from teary filled eyes it was like the light of heaven illuminated the whole room & all of the family friends & other members present were standing in an ovation of applause with tears of joy, shouts of praise to our glorious almighty savior above & a sense of security behind their beautiful smiles. It was 3 of those smiles that meant the most to me that day. It was my Mother’s, My Aunt Adrienne’s & My Aunt Doris’s. I could not imagine the depth of their pain but it was a wonderful indescribable feeling to be blessed with a means to provide & transcend “his,” love, support & comfort to them in their time of need. I believe my Aunt Adrienne, who was there only with her girls since Uncle George was at the Hospital with Aunt Laverne, gave me such a big warm hug that I could feel Grandma hug me too. From then on I knew my life would be forever changed.

Life would only prove to become even more challenging & difficult but as time advances, healing progresses & we wander throughout this perilous existence it only takes a little light to shine in all the darkness. The darker the darkness the brighter we shine; A beacon of hope to those whom are lost in this world. Let love continue to be our guide. May Gods comfort, peace, mercy, faith & joy be upon my readers, their families, friends, our community leaders, teachers, children, our sick, homeless, our soldiers here & overseas, those imprisoned & the unnoticed victims of hatred, abuse, neglect or loss throughout the world.

The synapses & impulses in my brain led the mind to reliving past memories while attempting to create new ones. Some experiences we’re not intended to forget because we will always have the scars left behind as a reminder but the endurance of pain enables us to relate to & understand the sufferings of others so that we might be able to with our lives assist one another with this life. Change will come. It takes time but all wounds are healed by the will of his hands & by his hands we rise together stronger & better than before. To my loving & courageous Mother if you’re reading this I hope you know how much I love & appreciate you & Dad. Thank you for the heart. We miss you Grandma. Beyond but not forgotten. Love always. Smile harder & laugh longer. I’m here for you & pray for me too.

– Robbie

Matthew 5:3-11

3 “Blessed are the poor in spirit,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
4 Blessed are those who mourn,
for they will be comforted.
5 Blessed are the meek,
for they will inherit the earth.
6 Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,
for they will be filled.
7 Blessed are the merciful,
for they will be shown mercy.
8 Blessed are the pure in heart,
for they will see God.
9 Blessed are the peacemakers,
for they will be called children of God.
10 Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
11 “Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. 12 Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.