Robbie T.

Like some I have emerged to this point out  of a troubled life. I look back to as far as I can remember & I see how God has sheltered me  under his wings of grace & carried me with “His strong embrace.

I can recall drinking & sharing ant poison with my toddler & infant sisters @ 2 or 3 years old. We were all hospitalized & sent from Hannibal, Mo to the ICU in St. Louis. By his tender mercy & will our lives were spared from so many tragic outcomes. We could have been put up for adoption or death.

I grew up the oldest of 9 children, 7 of those survived & still among us. As my parents lost their 1st infant boy at birth they were very protective & firm. I was raised going to church & knowing God through many members of my family, especially my Great Grandmother. Both my Grandmothers took us with them to church quite often. In the meantime I witnessed & experienced several forms of abuse. From that I was to be a statistic of the same product in all my struggles of violence. The abuse that I witnessed became something I truly despised.

I cannot say that I am flawless. I am an imperfect being but I serve a God who is perfect & His will & purpose always prevails. From observing the suffering consequent to malicious actions of anger & rage I learned to be more controlled & patient even though by nature I have a short temper & I’m impatient. I managed to graduate from high school & entered the world. This was probably when God held me closer as I began doing worldly things & ended up in a world of trouble time & time again. Every time I  failed & I would be forgiven. My intentions were good even though selfish motives & desires caused me to sin. I caught my 1st felony, fell in love & went through 1 of my first heartbreaks, my parents went through a hard time of separation among other struggles happening with them, we were losing our home, I was on the run from the police & on top of it all it would be the 1st time I would try to commit suicide.

Again I know if it wasn’t for Jesus & the everlasting love he has for me & for you I would not be here. I continued living in Quincy, Il for some more years of my life, even started another serious relationship with a girl. I fell in love and with that it later turned out really bad. After some years of having to look over my shoulder everywhere I went, I moved to Atlanta, Ga. and later was arrested just before Mother’s Day. As the Lord would have it – I spent 180 days in jail & was finally set free Nov 7 with no stipulation as to probation or court orders. For the 1st time in years I was really free again so I came back to Atlanta! Since then I’ve lived through several difficult times, challenging situations & escaped death a few times over. From struggling to survive to being in the cross fire of gunshots, my most recent chapters?

Well after going through a lot of rejection & a couple of bad relationships on the dating scene. I was in the process of healing. It was June 6, 2006. I was struggling bad as if I wanted to just give up. I talked to my Dad (whom is not the biggest on faith, religion & divinity) but he told me to hold on & that God would send me someone. It was no more than 3 weeks later & I met who I find is the most important love to me here on earth. She was my Angel! Always will be to me & maybe one day she will feel the same again as Well. I was looking for hope, for love & I found God when he placed her & her family in my life. We dated for some years & no matter what I was going through she made me better & want be better in every way I could be as a man. It was as if the good Lord not only allowed himself to work through her to attract me to him but he delivered me to “Him!”
I proposed to her July 26, 2010 & she accepted but later changed her mind from being unsure of herself. Despite our differences my heart was set on pursuing Jesus & decided to study the Bible, get baptized & become a member of AMCC which I now call home.

From there I lost my grandmother on my Mothers side of my family. The last 2 years have held many adverse challenges & heavy burdens that have been inflicted upon the heart with much pain & despair endured. It can be easy to feel really abandoned & lost at times but I try to stay focused on the fact that God is always there no matter what I go through. I find myself, more times than I would like to, in discomfort. Although when it hurts the most is when I often pray & praise the hardest.

I have learned the greater the suffering the higher the glory of God – even more the wonderful reward in store for those who hold to the faith. I have not yet come to the end of my journey. My life is a testimony yet being written. I cannot tell you what “He,” has planned for me but I know there is a plan. Looking back has been both many smiles & lots of tears over the years. It’s easy to see all the bad things. Some want to close their eyes & make believe others want to just pretend that everything is perfect – but I see that for everything that has happened has been for a reason. It is our testimony in weakness & humility that God’s love reveals to us, each man, woman & child that the secrets of the heart holds. Lord only knows them. Stay prayerful my Brothers & Sisters. Let’s keep God 1st in our lives that we may see him & may “He,” allow us to love one another as we are called to according to his word & faith.